I am totally and completely at the end of my rope. I was on my feet all day yesterday for work. Each week, I know that I'll feel bad on Thursday. But, add that to my already ongoing pain. I'm done for. My everything hurts. My knees are the worst. The ache that I feel can't be compared to anything else. I seriously don't think I can take much more. It's affecting me so much mentally.
Today, we had a meeting scheduled from 12-5 at work. I only lasted at work until 11. The director made me feel really bad for leaving. She said everyone was trying to get out of the meeting. I tried to explain that wasn't the case. People can clearly see me limping around. I had to defend myself and explain how and why I felt so bad. Near tears, I stood there and told her how I was struggling physically. I felt like I was begging her to go home. Nobody should have to do that.
Tomorrow I already have a appointment scheduled to see my primary doctor to talk about my depression. He seems to ignore it every time I bring it up. This disease and pain are bringing me so down. I plan to talk to the doctor about taking me off work for a medical leave for a few weeks. At least until I get stable on Remicade-that I start next week.
I've taken 3 Norco's in the past 8 hours. That's a lot for me. It hasn't changed the pain much. I don't know what else to do to help myself beside laying in bed cuddled in blankets.
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