Medication-DENIED

I have really been struggling with my RA the past few weeks. This disease really has a mind of it's own. It likes to "wake up" at the worst times. I continue to push myself at work, just to make it to 8 hours. I feel like I'm barely getting by some days. The fatigue has improved with some medication adjustments, but I'm still falling asleep driving home from work. There were some days last week that I wanted to use my cane, but I didn't want to bring attention to myself. The doctor told me a few weeks ago to change my diet. She wants me to cut out sugar and white bread. I live with my mom and sister. Most days, I rely on my mom to prepare meals. It's really hard to change my diet when I'm eating what other people make. My sister and cousin commented saying that I could prepare my meal the night before. I tried explaining what a typical RA day is like, and the fatigue. They didn't get it. They don't see any reason why I can't make my meals. It hurts my feelings when people don't understand how hard it can be. For so many years, I hid most of my pain. I've come to a point that I can no longer manage my pain. And, like most RA'ers, I can tolerate quite a bit of pain. The pain is really wearing on me and I hate it. I hate living like this. I made a appointment for a second opinion with another rheumatologist. I need more medication control, not just with pain meds. I need this disease controlled. I opened my mail today, the insurance company has denied my refill for xeljanz. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I'm out of medication, this is my only med that I'm on now. Doc stopped my methotrexate after I became anemic. All my hope is now in the hands of the second opinion doc that I see on Wednesday.