New and Improved

On Friday, I saw my rheumatologist. Let me just say, I love this woman. I think the key to a good patient-doctor relationship is communication. She doesn't just tell me what to take, but I get to give my input! Looking back 2 months ago, I was a hot mess. I have no idea how I functioned feeling so crappy and having such little energy. I will NEVER forget that feeling. Last week was enbrel injection #5, I still had a skin reaction, but feeling good! I asked doc if it was ok to drink. In the past alcohol has always been a trigger for me. I would wake up the next day with stiff and swollen joints. Doc informed me that was because I was drinking beer, the yeast is a trigger. I never knew! She gave me the go-ahead to have gin or vodka. Good lord, this doc knows how to paaarty. I had the best weekend in such a long time. I met some girlfriends for karaoke. It was so much fun watching bad singers and singing along. A couple of my guy friends came out later and we stayed until the bar closed. Nobody was really ready to go home, so we went bike riding! Omg, such a free feeling. I've had a brand new bike just sitting and waiting to be used. The weather was perfect! We rode bikes until 4am. My legs were sore the next day, but the good-muscle sore. On Saturday, I met some friends at a club to celebrate a birthday. We danced until our feet hurt. I was a little self conscious because I wore a dress and my injection site was already reacting. But, one of my friends said it just looked like a bug bite. I had vodka on Friday and Saturday, and I have to say that I think the injection has an effect. I didn't feel anything! It was like I hadn't had any alcohol. I'm usually the light weight, and it's been months since I've had a drink. I wanted to see if there was any info to read about that.

I'm so thankful to feel well enough to do these things. I really needed to get out and socialize.


The downers from Fridays doctors visit: she doesn't want me to get a tattoo. Doc says it can trigger an inflammatory attack. I researched over the weeked and chatted with other RA'rs that have gotten tattoos. I think I'm going to get it still. Also, doc wants me to see a neurologist. I occasionally get shaky hands. Like if I'm holding or grabbing something.

We're starting a "Biggest Loser" at work, kind of like the tv show. It's perfect timing too. Doc also gave the ok to go back to the gym. I feel like I've lost so much muscle. I already have a work out buddy. I just need to figure out my schedule. It's so easy to say "no" to the gym when you're too tired. My biggest problem is my diet. I have had flare ups off and on for the past 2 years. Before that, I felt good for quite a few years. So when I have a flare up, I comfort eat. Usually something really bad, like fast food. I'm also a Starbucks junkie, such a hard habit to quit!

Peer pressure vs guilt

I've completed 4 weeks of enbrel injections. Overall, I feel so much better. My energy is better, I can concentrate at work again, my pain is well controlled. I will never forget what true fatigue feels like. I want more than anything to keep things as they are, I even have a goal of returning to the gym. It scares me to think about going back to how I felt just 2 months ago. I felt like I hit rock bottom with my disease. I plan to do everything in my power to maintain my health from now on. As much as I miss socializing and happy hour after work, I have decided to stay away from alcohol. Alcohol has always been a big RA trigger for me. I have told people my choice. Now, when they keep asking me to join them at the bar, how do I nicely remind them that I'm not drinking? And, when they keep asking, am I just sounding like a party pooper or someone from AA when I keep saying "I'm not drinking". It's not that I don't want to go out with friends, I miss socializing! But, have you ever been the sober one at a party? You definately realize what an idiot some people are. For now, I will choose to be the party pooper. A wise friend once told me, you can teach someone something but you can't learn it for them.

Enbrel=energy and ugly skin

Friday was injection #4 of Enbrel. Last week, and again this last injection, I've had skin reactions. Which, doc and fellow RA'ers are saying are "normal". I still feel good, energy is back and the only pain I've had lately was mild when it rained a couple days.

I'm dealing with the ring worm look alike reaction. Luckily, I inject my thigh, which rarely sees the light of day.

My plan is to have one full month of feeling good before I try any physical activity. I'm so scared of going back to where I was pain wise. When I think back to where I was 2 years ago, I get discouraged. I was nearly 40 pounds lighter, and in shape. I just hope I can get back there.

The fog has finally lifted

I know to expect side effects from medications. The past few weeks just was more than I had expected. I feel like I've been in a complete fog. Lyrica is now on my "I refuse to take list". The headaches and nausea were awful. It's so hard to try to go about your day when you feel like crap. I think the absolute worst is when you cannot think or comprehend when someone is talking to you. I imagine this is what feeling like a nutcase is like. I felt like a complete lunatic not being able to process my thoughts or forgetting the simpliest things. It made my fatigue twice as bad. 12 hours of sleep felt like a nap, it was just awful. In the midst of going through my "crazy fit", I started Enbrel. I've never injected myself before this. I thought it would be much more difficult. The injection itself is the easy part. The medication going in, well, saying that it burns a little would be an understatement. But, the benefits are way worth it.  Friday was my second injection, and also day 4 of being off of Lyrica. I think yesterday was my first real day of feeling "good". No pain, no Lyrica yuckiness. I think I'm finally going down a better road.