I've been on Xeljanz for the past week. According to everything I've read online, it takes 2-8 weeks to notice any improvement. I have been in constant pain. I feel like things are getting worse, I'm getting stiffer. My costochondritis is flaring right now. And, it's just making me super depressed. My pain pills are not controlling the pain, but they make me sleepy which helps me to not feel it. But, I also don't sleep well because I wake up from pain. I'm at such a loss as to what I should do. I find myself crying almost everyday. Mostly from the pain, but also because I'm so frustrated.
My family went to my Aunt's house for dinner yesterday. I wasn't up for it. But, then I realized that meant I needed to get dinner for myself. I left the house, and went to the store. At the store, I parked in the handicap parking spot. I got the dirtiest look from someone. It just made me want to yell at them, if only I had the strength. People have no idea how hard it is to get out of the car, let alone walk around the store.
I emailed my rheumatologist and asked her if I should be seeing a pain management specialist. She suggested I see her sooner, since my current regimen isn't helping me. I called the office to schedule, my appointment is in 3 weeks. Three weeks is a eternity when you're in pain.
The costochondritis just started yesterday. I haven't had this bother me in such a long time. I'm laying down with a heat pack on my chest now. It hurts to breathe, I'm trying my best to relax and take small short breathes.
I honestly don't know how much more and how much longer I can take this. I'm so frustrated. All I've been wanting for over 30 years is to be "normal". Life is such a struggle.
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