Internalizing Pain

I'm sure I'm not the only one that downplays RA pain at times. Meaning, I throw a smile(even a half smile) on my face when I'm not feeling good. Having lived with RA nearly my entire life, I know people get tired of hearing me complain of hurting. And, I don't always want to be labeled as "that person". You know? Maybe it's not right, But, it's just how I feel. I may feel like screaming that day. Or just crying. Sometimes, at work, I actually will close my office door and have a good cry when I'm in really bad pain. I just don't feel the need to  bring other people down.

Right now, I'm struggling with gallstones. If you've ever had to deal with this, then YOU KNOW. I am trying my best to internalize this pain. The best that I can do at work, is basically starve myself right now, which is not good.